put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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