you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
