just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
