How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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