Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
