Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
try to milk me bitch
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