I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
