it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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