Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I am naked and annoyed.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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