someone owes me an orgasm
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
