Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
