Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
