I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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