It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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