You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
