dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
