That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
