I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize