I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
