I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
