I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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