I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
