He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
