I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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