tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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