I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
