How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I want a musical about memes.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
