Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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