but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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