Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
