seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
