What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
