Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
