K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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