dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
