So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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