I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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