I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
