So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
