were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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