don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
