so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
