i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
