i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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