Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
