what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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