True but thats because hes a fetus.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize