I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
