y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
