You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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