dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
