Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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