therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just invented taco cereal.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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