RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
