how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
