1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
