Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Umm I'm too high to move.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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