): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
