Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
