So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
