i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
