you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm at about main and main street
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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